100 Things to Do in 2013

I decided to be open and sharing about what I want out of my 2013.  So, without further ado, here is my brainstorm of 100 things to do.  I tried to keep in mind my 2013 theme of "Active Renewal" while coming up with ideas.  I decided this was a year to get back to me as opposed to moving forward.  A year to build to foundation.

1.     Start daily yoga                 

2.     Learn to rock climb                 

3.     Quarterly massages      (0/4)

4.     A week alone at my family's camp                   

5.     Monthly date nights with Corey      (0/12)

6.     Take a photography class            

7.     Go camping 3 times    (0/3)          

8.     Stand at the top of a mountain

9.     Pay off my car           

10.   Find a group of Portland friends         

11.   Go to The Nutcracker

12.   Start journaling        

13.   Buy a better camera         

14.   Tailor CTS job for me

15.   Learn some new updos           

16.   Go to the ballet        

17.   Complete a non-blanket crochet project

18.   Clarify my personal style               

19.   Learn to shoot a gun                 

20.   More girl time

21.   Take a course in designing blogs           

22.   Take a dance class           

23.   Find a local "escape place"

24.   Get a bicycle            

25.   Figure out what I want to go to school for        

26.   Create a morning ritual

27.   Make all Christmas gifts        

28.   Find a way to make extra money/income

29.   Go on a whale watch             

30.   Figure out my patron god/goddess

31.   Study and learn my oracle cards             

32.   Go to a casino               

33.   Stop biting my nails

34.   Go skinny dipping               

35.   Get my passport          

36.   Buy something that makes me feel sexy

37.   Read "Game of Thrones"             

38.   Watch "Game of Thrones"             

39.   Make a perfect planner

40.   Day with Corey at the beach               

41.   Go to Boston                

42.   Plant an herb garden

43.   Get a hammock      

44.   Karaoke        

45.   Go to the drive-in   

46.   Eat more fruits and veggies         

47.   Have a birthday party            

48.   Lord of the Rings movie marathon             

49.   Make s'mores

50.   Naughty times outdoors                                                     

51.  Take a college course 

52.   Start a business plan for whole life wellness            

53.   Complete The Joy Equation                                    

54.   Dance!!!                

55.   Finish all the main quests in Skyrim

56.   Read "The Hobbit" and "The Lord of the Rings"                       

57.   Weekend away with Corey

58.   Weekly shag                

59.   Get a dog                               

60.   Move somewhere we can have a dog

61.   Create/start a Project Life or Corey and Liz album                   

62.   Doctor and dentist checkups

63.   Funtown/Splashtown day                

64.   Pay four overdue bills         (0/4)                     

65.   Save $1000      

66.   Hula hoop more                                        

67.   Create a 5 year plan with goals and action plans

68.   Get my car a complete tune up                         

69.   Stop taking my "life unhappiness" out on Corey

70.   Take a self help/improvement course     

71.   Cook better meals      

72.   Visit Debsconeag Ice Caves

73.   Make a quilt                     

74.   Go to a concert                       

75.   Check out Soakology   

76.   Eat 'clean' for at least a month              

77.   Take an entire day hike             

78.   Take a kayaking trip

79.   Make a gratitude journal               

80.   *Private* 

81.   Read the books I already have before buying more                           

82.   Start a side business

83.   Take a class to improve my blog                  

84.   Find my soul color   

85.   Watch all the new seasons of Dr. Who  

86.   Cull Google Read / find "must read" blogs to inspire me

87.   Find a regular hang out spot in Portland                        

88.   Start to really build life with Corey

89.   Try Bikram yoga

90.   Be more kind

91.   Climb a tree

92.   Plan a big awesome anniversary

93.   Take an art class

94.   Be less judgey

95.   Be happy!

96.   Figure out what I really want in life

97.   Make bread

98.   Do all the workbooks that I have already bought/downloaded

99.   Let go

100. Accept where I am in life and start the changes I want

Monthly Oracle Reading // February 2013

What a weird thing to pull the "true love" card for the month of love.  But the universe wants to tell me something and I plan on listening.

Message from Guinevere : Romance is not an outmoded concept - far from it!  Romance is the time-honored precept of merging with the Divine as it's manifest within another human being.  Romance is also playfulness, which heralds springtime, flowers, and new life.  You needn't be in a partnership to evoke yourself through laughter, surrounding yourself with beauty, and indulging in luxurious treats.  Romance is the life-force of the universe, and is a worthwhile goal indeed.

Various Meanings of this Card : Your soul mate relationship has arrived or is soon arriving * There is renewed passion in an existing relationship * You're a very romantic person * Your romantic needs aren't being met, and you must take steps to alleviate this

Letting Go....

The last month or so, I have become very angry.... at everyone.  There isn't an hour that goes by that I don't have some anger.  And I want to stop.  I don't enjoy the negativity.  It leaves me feeling drained of energy, feeling even worse before, and unhappy with myself.  I end up cutting people out of my life - either for an hour, the day or for longer periods of time.  I just don't want to deal with people.

THAT STOPS NOW

Most of the anger is born out frustration.  Frustration over things I mostly can't control.  But I can control my reaction to them.  From now on I am choosing to let more things go.  To realize it isn't worth the energy that I spend on them.

One thing that I can control is my relationship with Corey.  I need to be more vocal and less passive aggressive about what I need out of the relationship to be happy.  Because of his depression, I let things slide that I shouldn't and, as a result, I feel resentful and annoyed at him all the time.  Part of that, and I feel like a huge bitch saying this, is because I believe that he uses his depression as an excuse at times.  I say that I am feeling neglected - his response "Well, I'm depressed."  A "So get over it" is implied in his response... at least that's how I hear it.  **I wrote this a few weeks ago, and things have started getting better in that time.  We are talking about getting our own place again, going on vacations, and saving for the future. It helps that I am more vocal about being uphappy and Corey is also happier since he is working again and not as stressed about money. **

I also have issues with my father that I let needle at me.  In this case, I need to forgive him, even if I don't forget, and move on.  I can't let his mistakes and actions haunt MY life forever.

Another problem is trying to discover my passion in life.  I don't have anything.  My job isn't something I see myself doing forever, I don't have any hobbies I'm passionate about, I've lost the spark I had in life when I lived in Colorado.  It's so frustrating to feel like I could or should be doing something great with my life and not knowing what that something is.

2013 : What's in Store

As I've mentioned before, I participated in Molly Mahar of Stratejoy's Holiday Council.  In case you're new to it, the Holiday Council was 21 days of reviewing my 2012 and planning for 2013.  One of the "homework assignments" was to create at theme for 2013 - which was really difficult for me.  I was having a hard time letting go of the stress of 2012.  I couldn't even get into the audio that Molly created for the course.  

After freaking out that I would never be able to think of something that felt authentic to me and not just the "cool" theme to have, I decided to take a look at the post Molly wrote in 2010 about theme creating.  Not even fifteen minutes later, here is what I was writing on the Council's facebook page:  

"It's amazing how these "aha" moments work.  I was having a tough time on my theme.  I wanted to do something on the "Live Boldly" line, but 2012 has been so draining, I knew I couldn't sustain that.  I tried listening to Molly's call about creating a theme, but couldn't get into it for some reason.  So, I decided to take a look at the post she wrote up about it.  I didn't even get past the photo at the top of the page before it hit me! 

My theme for 2013 is "Active Renewal" 

     Renewal : Filling again by supplying what has been used up   

 Active : Marked by or involving direct participation

That is just what I need - to refill my happiness, my energy, my love for life .... but hands on.  Not just letting 2013 happen to me.  Stepping up and taking charge of getting my life back in balance."

I have so many plans on how to honor this theme - yoga, more time in nature, camping weekends, hiking, getting a massage or two, taking time to explore my hobbies, nights where all I do is read, monthly date nights with Corey ....  I also have plans on taking Molly's Fierce Love course to maybe help me learn to love myself a little more and not be so negative on myself.   

Vision Board for 2013

You'll be hearing a lot more in the month of January about all of the work I did taking part in Molly Mahar at Stratejoy's Holiday Council, but one thing I wanted to share with you right now is the vision board I made for how I want my 2013 to look.  I had a very enlightening time going over my 2012 and planning my 2013 with that lovely group of ladies.

I had a lot of fun picking out photos for it.  Instead of the normal cutting out pictures from magazines and putting them on a poster board, I decided to do mine on pinterest and then created this collage on PicMonkey.  As I find pictures that speak to me, I am pinning them so the board is ever changing

Do you do any sort of vision boarding in your life?  Have you found that it helps, doesn't help, doesn't end up amounting to much?